


A SAFE PLACE FOR THE NIGHT

by ksstarfire



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Angst, Drugs, Emotional pain, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:49:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27881038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ksstarfire/pseuds/ksstarfire
Summary: Post "The Fix".Starsky and Hutch return to Huggy's upstairs room to decompress.Things go awry.
Relationships: Ken Hutchinson/David Starsky
Comments: 8
Kudos: 15





	A SAFE PLACE FOR THE NIGHT

A SAFE PLACE FOR THE NIGHT

“Hey, Huggy.”

“Yeah, Denny?”

“I think you better go out to the alley. Looks like your blond cop friend is about to get himself in some serious trouble back there.”

Huggy set down the box of glasses he’d been about to stock behind the bar. He hurried out the back door. He’d quickly run through what Hutch might be doing in the alley and what kind of trouble he might be getting into.

As soon as he opened the back door he saw Hutch and a man holding out a plastic bag of white powder toward him.

“Hutch?!”

Both men turned toward him.

“Mason, get out of here! I’ve told you over and over that if I caught you dealing here again I’d call the police. I suggest you get the hell out of here before they show up!”

The dealer took off at a run down the alley.

Huggy turned toward Hutch. With concern in his voice, he said. “Hutch? What was that all about?” He stepped closer to his friend. He saw Hutch was sweating, shaking, and he wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Hutch?”

Hutch couldn’t look at Huggy. He quickly slid the money he’d been about to hand over to Mason into his pocket. “It was nothing, Hug. Forget it.”

Reaching out, Huggy grabbed Hutch’s arm and began to pull him toward the door. “We need to have a talk.”

As they walked into the door, Huggy assessed Hutch. It didn’t look like Hutch was high, but something wasn’t right. “Denny, keep an eye on things. Hutch and me need to talk.”

Grabbing two coffee cups and a pot of fresh, hot coffee, Huggy put it on a tray. He reached under the bar and pulled out a handful of candy bars and put them on the tray too. He looked at Hutch who was just standing there, looking lost.

“Come on. Upstairs. Now.”

Huggy set the tray on the small table, grabbed one of the candy bars, and turned to hand it to Hutch.

Only Hutch wasn’t there!

Walking quickly out the room, he caught Hutch’s arm as the skittish blond was about to run down the stairs. Huggy pulled him back and shoved him into the bedroom. He watched as Hutch began to pace the room. Huggy locked the door and slid the key into his pocket.

“Sit!”

He poured a cup of coffee, liberally sweetened it and put it in front of his friend. He unwrapped a candy bar and handed it to Hutch. He waited until Hutch had eaten most of the candy bar and drank about half the cup of coffee.

Huggy shook his head. Something was really wrong here. Starsky had gotten Hutch through his addiction. So why was Hutch now acting like he was still hooked?

And just where was Starsky?

“You wanna tell me what that was about with Mason in the alley? And why you’re acting strung out?”

Huggy watched as Hutch paced the small area. He noticed that Hutch kept darting glances at the bed, then quickly walk away from it. He saw bleakness in the blond’s eyes.

“Come over here and sit down.”

Walking over to the table, Hutch sat down then stood right back up and began pacing again.

“Look, Huggy. I need to get out of here. Unlock the door. Please?”

“No can do. Not until you tell me what’s going on in that blond head of yours. Sit and talk.”

“I can’t, Huggy. It’s…I…I just can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

Hutch glanced at the bed, then quickly looked away. He sighed. “I can’t. I just can’t. Look, I’m going to head out.”

“You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on here! Where’s Starsky? I thought the two of you needed to talk up here after all that happened?” Huggy unwrapped and handed another candy bar to Hutch.

Hutch looked at the candy, took one bite, and put it down on the table.

“Talk to me, Hutch. You know you can tell me anything. It won’t go no further than this room.”

“I…I wish I could, Hug. It’s just…” Hutch threw his hands up in the air.

Before Hutch could turn away, Huggy thought he saw the sheen of tears in the blond’s eyes.

“Okay. Obviously something big is going down. Between you and Starsky? Did you two have a fight? Something with Jeannie?” Huggy kept his eyes on Hutch who still kept avoiding the bed. “You might as well tell me ‘cause we’re not leaving this room until I know.”

Huggy watched as Hutch suddenly sank into the other chair at the table. He looked like a balloon that someone had just stuck a needle into. “Hutch? Talk to me.”

Without lifting his head, Hutch began to speak. “Starsky’s gone. I, uh, drove him away. He won’t be back. We’re done.”

Stunned, Huggy grabbed Hutch’s wrist. “What the hell are you talking about, Hutch?! What did you two talk about up here?”

“We didn’t just talk.”

“Then what happened? Talk to me. Maybe I can help you two work this out.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. It’s…we’re…over. Done.”

“Start at the beginning, Hutch. Tell me what happened.”

Huggy watched as Hutch tried to figure out how to get out of telling him any more than he already had. He saw the second Hutch gave up the fight.

“We came back here to talk about a few things. Make sure we…I…was okay. I sat down on the bed and Starsky sat beside me. I told him what it had meant to have him hold me…while I came down. I told him I wouldn’t have made it without his being so close to me. We talked for an hour. About everything.”

Hutch stood up and started pacing around the room again.

“I was feeling…shaky…because of everything that had happened to me.”

When it looked like Hutch wasn’t going to say anything else, Huggy prompted him, “What happened then?”

“Huh? Oh… sorry… I was… lost. Starsky put his arms around me. Then he scooted up on the bed and said, ‘Slide up here. Let me hold you for a little while.’ So I moved up and he held me like he had when I was still.. when I was…”

“On the juice?” Huggy prompted.

“Yeah.” Hutch took a sip of his cold coffee. “And it felt so good. So right. We sat there like that just holding each other. Then…”

“What happened then, Hutch? It’s just me and you here. What happened?”

“I was drifting. Starsky held me so securely, it let me just drift. He touched my hair like he had the first time he held me.” Hutch reached up and touched his hair. ”I reacted. I tipped my head back and kissed him. On his lips. A deep kiss. I moaned, or maybe it was him. My left hand slid down his body, down to his jeans. I felt his cock… it was hard. I moaned and held him through his jeans. And I kissed him harder. It felt so good. So right.”

Hutch closed his eyes and stopped talking.

“What happened, Hutch?”

Hutch was silent…remembering. “He stood up and moved away from me. He said he had to leave. I tried to get him to stay, but he kept backing toward the door. I looked at his face. Into his eyes. And I knew.”

“What did you know?”

“That I had gone too far.”

“But you said he… reacted to you…?”

“I didn’t give him a choice, Huggy.”

Huggy could barely look at Hutch’s eyes. They were full of emptiness. Bleak.

“I’m sure Starsk just needs some time to think things through.”

“No. You don’t understand, Huggy.”

“What don’t I understand?”

“I, uh, I practically sexually assaulted him, Huggy! I went too far. I took what I wanted. I didn’t ask. I just took. And I drove him away.”

“But, Hutch…”

“No ‘buts’ about it, Huggy. He’s gone.”

“So, what was all that in the alley about. With Mason?”

“I just wanted to forget. To forget the look in Starsky’s eyes. And maybe…maybe to just…go away. To find…a safe place for the night.”

Huggy froze. “What do you mean, Hutch? What do you mean ‘a safe place for the night’? What about tomorrow?”

Realizing he was giving away more than he wanted, Hutch managed to pull himself together a bit. “It’s just talk, Hug. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“You need to talk to Starsky. You need to ask him why he left. You two need to talk this out, Hutch. Just like you always have.”

“No. This time I really blew it.”

“Look. Stay here. I’ll be right back. I’d like to trust that you’ll stay, but you’re not thinkin’ straight here right now. So I’m gonna lock the door. I’ll go make us something to eat and be right back.”

When Hutch didn’t say anything, Huggy let himself out of the room and re-locked the door. “Starsky, you better be some place I can find you. And quick.” Huggy continued down to the bar.

“Diane, fix me a couple salads and roast beef sandwiches.”

Huggy walked over to Denny and whispered to him. “Make some calls. I have to know where Starsky is. As soon as you know, go get him. Or tell him to come over right away. Tell him Huggy has an emergency and needs him here. Now.”

On the off chance Starsky had gone home, Huggy called his phone. No answer.

“Damn it, Starsky! You need to fix this mess before we both lose someone we can’t afford to lose!”

~*~*~*~*~

By the time Huggy returned, Hutch had pulled himself somewhat together. He had to get out of here. And to do that, he had to show Huggy he was in control again.

Huggy carefully backed into the room with the food tray in his hands. He glanced around and saw Hutch sitting at the table sipping on a cup of coffee.

“Diane made us sandwiches and salads.”

“Sounds good. Not sure I’m very hungry, but I need to eat.”

Hutch sounded like his old self. Maybe he’d just needed to tell someone what had happened?

They sat in silence eating. But Huggy noticed he was mostly just moving his salad around in the bowl, and he hadn’t even taken a bite of his sandwich.

“Hutch…”

“I’m sorry, Huggy. I guess I just over-reacted to what happened. You’re right, Starsky and I just need to talk it out. Like we always have. Can Diane wrap up my food, and I’ll take it with me to eat later?”

“Where are you going?”

“I know this place west of town. Up in the hills. A friend of mine has a small cabin there. I called him and he’s gonna let me stay there until Monday. I need to do some thinking too. Then when I come back, Starsky and I can talk this out, like you said.”

Staring at Hutch, Huggy tried to decide if Hutch was telling the truth or not. “Yeah, Diane can fix this to go. But…I want the directions to this place, and a phone number to reach you.”

“I can give you the directions, but there’s no phone there. He’s a broker, so when he goes, he doesn’t want work to intrude.” Hutch pulled a pad of paper and pen that were on the table and wrote down the directions to get to the cabin.

“Is there a town close? Someplace you can call me when you get there?”

“Yeah. A small place, Lanstown. There’s a gas station and small grocery there.”

“I don’t hear from you within an hour, I’ll be calling out the dogs. Got that?”

“Got it. Thanks, Hug. Uh, and don’t tell Starsky. Okay? I think we both need time to think about what happened.”

Huggy just nodded. He figured that wasn’t really lying.

They walked downstairs where Diane wrapped the food and added an extra sandwich to a sack for Hutch. Huggy followed him out to the car and put a six pack of beer in the trunk.

“NO drinking until you’re there. Promise me, Hutch.”

“I promise. Thanks again, Huggy.”

Huggy watched Hutch drive away and hoped he hadn’t just made a huge mistake. He heard the back door of the bar open and turned as Denny walked up to him.

“Starsky called. He’s on his way back here.”

“Damn! And Hutch is on his way out of town. How soon’s he gonna be here?”

“He said about twenty minutes. He drove up north. He’s almost at Shadypalm.”

“I hope he hurries.”

~*~*~*~*~

Stopping by his house, Hutch ran inside and quickly threw some jeans and t shirts in his duffle bag. He was about to run out the door when he remembered another reason he had stopped here. Walking into his bedroom, he pulled the bottom drawer of his dresser out. Reaching into the empty space, toward the back of the dresser, he found the small leather bag he’d almost forgotten he’d hidden there.

Standing there, Hutch fought with himself.

Throw it away?

Or take it with him?

He knew Starsky would kill him if he knew he had saved and hidden this.

But, in the end, he tucked it in his duffle. Turning off the lights, he ran out to his car, tossed the duffle in the back seat and drove off.

“I’m sorry, Starsk. You’ll never know how sorry I am.”

~*~*~*~*~

Starsky pulled off the road and onto a narrow, sandy road that led to the ocean. Parking the Torino, he turned it off and just sat and stared out at the waves crashing on the shore.

“Tide must be coming in.”

But the ocean didn’t hold his attention and he found himself thinking about what had happened in Huggy’s upstairs room. Both when he’d been trying to help Hutch kick the forced addiction and when they just needed some time together to make sure they were both healed.

He’d just been trying to comfort Hutch. They’d both been through a lot in the last couple of weeks. If he was honest with himself, he’d needed the comforting as much as Hutch had.

Sitting on the bed, he’d remembered the first time, holding Hutch as the withdrawal hit him hard. It was almost more than he could take to see his strong partner reduced to begging for drugs. Huggy tried to help with bringing Hutch sweet coffee and candy bars, but they did little to help.

Starsky had pulled Hutch onto his lap and wrapped his arms around him. He’d told him that together they would get through this. He’d told him…had he told him, ‘I love you’? He tried to remember. Yes. Yes, while holding Hutch in his lap and combing his fingers through Hutch’s hair, he had told him he loved him.

But earlier today things had changed. Hutch needed to know that they were through it and that he was okay. So Starsky had pulled him close on the bed, then had pulled him into his lap.

Hutch had gone almost boneless against him.

Starsky had held him tighter, needing the connection too.

Then Hutch had looked up at him. And his blue eyes were shouting his thanks.

And before Starsky knew what was happening, Hutch had stretched his neck up and kissed him. Open-mouthed, tongue darting inside. Starsky froze and tried to sort out all the sensations assaulting him. He felt Hutch’s left hand sliding down his body to rest on top of his cock, which was hard and throbbing.

Then he felt Hutch’s long, strong fingers trying to cup his erection through the jeans.

Heaven?

Hell?

Starsky didn’t know what to do or say. So, as carefully, but quickly as he could, Starsky slid out from beneath Hutch, muttered something about needing to go somewhere, and he had run out of the room and the bar.

Even just thinking about it now had Starsky hard and hurting.

Had he had sexual feelings for Hutch?

When he’d been in Vietnam, he’d had a couple of relationships with other men. But once he’d mustered out, he’d left that lifestyle behind.

Or had he?

He pulled up in the alley behind Huggy’s and jumped out of the car. Running into the bar, he almost ran into Huggy.

“Where is he?”

“He’s not here. He left about twenty minutes ago. Starsky, he told me about what happened. He thinks you’re disgusted by him now. He’s not in a good place.”

“Oh, God. Did he go home?”

“No. He headed here.” Huggy handed Starsky the piece of paper with the address of the place Hutch was going to. “He left about twenty minutes ago. Hurry, Starsky. He was trying to buy some smack out here when I stopped him. He said he was looking for ‘a safe place for the night’. I’m not sure what he was talking about.”

“Hutch…damn… Okay, thanks, Huggy. I’m heading up there now.” Starsky pocketed the paper with the address on it, ran out and got back in the Torino.

Huggy said a prayer that Starsky would find Hutch in time, and that they would be able to work all this out.

~*~*~*~*~

When Hutch got to the small town, he stopped to buy a bottle of whiskey. The beer was okay, but he wanted something that would work a little faster, last a little longer. Though why he was interested in anything ‘lasting longer’ he had no clue. He called Huggy and let him know he was there and safe.

He drove out to the cabin and took his duffle, the beer, and the whiskey in with him. It had become cloudy on the drive up, and the temperature had dropped. He went out the back door and brought in some wood. He put the logs in the fireplace and used the paper bags from his food and the whiskey bottle to start the fire.

Sitting on the floor, he watched the small flames begin to lick up the sides of the wood. “Kind of like the heroin…” He stopped speaking. Continuing to gaze into the flames, he allowed his mind to drift to what had happened in Huggy’s upstairs room. He remembered how it had felt when Starsky had pulled him close, wrapping his arms around him. And he remembered how it had felt to kiss his partner and how hard his partner’s cock had felt in his hand.

“Starsky…I wish…”

He didn’t really know what he wished.

That Starsky had reciprocated?

That he had never chanced kissing Starsky, touching him intimately?

“It doesn’t matter. What’s done can’t be undone. There’s no going back. Only going forward.”

Hutch thought about his reasons for driving up here. He pulled his duffle bag off the old couch and opened it. The leather bag was right on top. Right where he had put it. He carried the bag to the small table and sat down. Closing his eyes, he opened the top of the bag and took out the spoon, candle, syringe, and the four small folded papers that held heroin.

He felt the ghost of the heroin that Monk had forced on him. Felt it burning through his veins. Felt the sweet, sweet oblivion spreading through his body. At the time he had thought he was in a safe place, without the pain from the beatings Monk’s thugs had given him.

Jeannie. He had fallen hard for her. The thought of marrying her had briefly passed through his mind. His thoughts became confused.

He’d had an intense but brief relationship with a guy before he’d left Minnesota and moved to California. Once he’d started dating and having sex with the beautiful women he met, he forgot all about that relationship.

And then he’d met and become partners, then friends, with Starsky. He’d felt the sexual attraction from their first meeting. But the friendship was too important to risk losing it by making a move on him, or asking him about his sexual preferences. He’d never seen any indication from Starsky that he would be into anything sexual between them.

But his resolve had been low. And the ordeal of the addiction had made him vulnerable.

So, when Starsky had held him so tenderly, he’d kissed him. Kissed him and fondled his partner’s cock.

He’d driven Starsky away.

He felt empty.

Without Starsky, who was he?

Without Starsky…he was nothing.

~*~*~*~*~  
Driving as fast as he could, Starsky prayed he’d get there before Hutch did something stupid.

Then he remembered what Huggy had said. Something about Hutch looking for a ‘safe place for the night’.

He remembered Hutch using that phrase when he’d told him about how the heroin had affected him. Hutch had gotten lost in the heroin. Had felt safe.

What if he was too late…? NO! He wouldn’t allow that thought to take root in his brain. He’d get there in time to stop Hutch.

Then he’d sit down with Hutch and they’d talk about this. He’d tell Hutch about his feelings. And about why he’d left. They’d clear the air.

And then…

Starsky didn’t want to think about that. He was afraid if he thought about making love with Hutch it might jinx it.

Clearing his mind, Starsky concentrated on his driving, urging the Torino to go faster.

~*~*~*~*~

Noticing it was getting dark, Hutch lit the candle from his drug bag. He’d turned on a small lamp in the living room when he came in. He had everything he needed there in front of him. Heroin, spoon, candle, syringe, and a tourniquet. All he had to do was melt the drug over the candle…and inject it.

He’d feel the burn.

Then he wouldn’t feel anything.

Ever again.

He picked up one of the paper packets containing heroin.

And he remembered the look of horror in Starsky’s eyes when he had found him in the alley.

Horror that had immediately changed to loving concern.

“I can’t do this.”

Hutch picked up the syringe, uncapped the needle, and broke it off on the table. He laid it back down.

“I’ll just move away. Maybe back to Minnesota. Spending some time on the farm sounds like a good way to heal.”

~*~*~*~*~

Starsky entered the small town. He pulled the paper with the directions out of his pocket. Committing the directions to his memory, he drove out of town toward the place Hutch was staying.

“I’m almost there, Hutch. Hold on, buddy. Just hold on.”

It was getting dark. Starsky leaned forward watching for the turnoff to the cabin.

He saw the street marker and made a quick turn. It wasn’t far to the cabin and he pulled up behind Hutch’s car. Turning the car off, he was out of the door before the motor shut down completely.

Stopping at the door, he took a deep breath and reached out to open the door quietly.

~*~*~*~*~

Hutch heard the door creak as it opened. He pulled his gun and spun around to face whoever was coming in uninvited. As he spun, his arm brushed the top of the table and the tourniquet fell to the floor by his chair.

“Hutch! It’s me. Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Then Starsky looked at the items on the table. He looked down and saw the rubber tourniquet on the floor by the chair Hutch had been sitting in.

“God, Hutch. How much did you take?”

There were four paper packets on the table. If he took all of it…

“Come on, I saw a small hospital in the town. They can give you something.” Starsky grabbed Hutch’s arm and tried to pull him toward the door.

“No.” Hutch stood firm.

“Don’t do this, Hutch! I almost lost you the last time. I won’t risk that again. Please?”

“I don’t need a hospital, Starsky.” Hutch picked up the papers and showed his partner that there was no heroin in them. “I dumped it down the sink. I didn’t take any of it.”

Starsky bent down and picked the tourniquet off the floor.

“That fell when you scared me coming in the door.”

Hutch took the tourniquet, picked up the spoon and syringe. He tossed it all in the trash, including the papers.

“Hutch…”

“I’m going to quit the force. And I’m going to move back home.”

“We need to talk, Hutch. Before you make any decisions.”

Hutch shook his head. “Look, Starsky, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, kissed you and…and…well…” Hutch blushed as he re-holstered his gun. I didn’t mean to make you feel scared or whatever. I would never try to force you to do something you didn’t want to do. It was just all the circumstances. I was tired and you were holding me, and…”

Starsky stepped up beside Hutch. He put his arms around Hutch’s shoulders, pulled him close, and kissed him. Kissed him with every ounce of passion in his body.

Initially, Hutch stiffened, but as Starsky gentled his kiss, Hutch melted against his body.

After a short time, Hutch pulled back, looked in Starsky’s eyes, and couldn’t find any words to say. “Starsk…?”

“I left, because it scared me…what you made me feel, Hutch. It was too much. It wasn’t enough. I’d had thoughts about you…me…us…but I didn’t know how to talk to you about it. I’m tired of the women who never work out. We’ve been friends and partners longer than any of my relationships with a woman.

“But I needed to think it through. And I was scared at how strong my feelings for you were. I needed some space to think.

“I’m sorry, Hutch. I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t get far when I realized I had to talk to you. So I called Huggy to ask him to keep you there. He told me you’d left and you were in a bad space. He said…he said…’Hutch is looking for a safe place for the night.’ And it panicked me. I thought you were going to find some heroin and shoot up…maybe…

Hutch shook his head. “I…thought about it, but… Starsky…are you sure about this?”

“I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life.”

Starsky let go of Hutch and took a step back. He stood there, looking Hutch in the eyes. Then he held his arms out to either side of his body.

“Hutch, I love you. I want to make love to you. I want to be with you for the rest of our lives. Trust me, Hutch. This is what I want more than anything in the world. For you to love me, and let me love you. Let me…let me be your ‘safe place’ for tonight and every night from now on.”

Hutch stepped into Starsky’s arm.

Tears were running down both faces.

Words of love flowed from one to the other. Kisses and touches.

“Does this place have a bedroom, Hutch?”

Hutch laughed and pointed to a door off to the right. “Yeah. Wanna check it out with me?”

“More than anything.”

From that moment until the sun came up, and after, they explored, touched, kissed, and held each other tightly. Words of love were whispered and shouted as both bodies remembered how to move. How to provide pleasure.

“The sun is up.”

“So it is.”

Starsky reached down, pulled the covers over them, covering their heads.

And they started exploring all over again.

FIN


End file.
